Saturday, October 28, 2006

Boat Trip on the River Denial?

Just got an email from Learner. Apparently, their trip so far is all they had hoped it would be (quiet, relaxing, enjoyable), but not all is peaches and cream. He writes:
"Not great news from our church - apparently we're $1,200 in deficit over the past three months in terms of our support raising. In addition, we're barely a third of the way for November's paycheck. This is not good.

For the first time in a while, Mrs. Learner and I lamented our financial situation, and for the first time in a very long while, I detected some fear within myself as to how any of this will work out, both in the long- and short-terms. We talked of how we could get out from under the fundraising burden, but there seems little way to do this without quitting school, and doing that cuts off the degree that would seemingly open the doors to what I think/hope I'm actually able to do.

It all suddenly seems to futile, and I wonder if we'll be able to finish this school year, let alone the M. Div. track I'm on. For the first time, I heard myself say that that was okay, too, which raises all kinds of questions as to how much to fight for this and how much to just let it go, get a paying job of some kind, and finish out life at least being able to pay bills.

As I was relating some of this to a friend here (good visit, by the way), he said that I should try to start something. His suggestion made me wonder what happened to my once-entrepreneurial spirit? Maybe realism set in or I just got lazy, but I haven't seen that side of me for some time. And even if I had the itch, I'm not sure where to scratch - what can I do that would be both fulfilling and something someone would pay me to do? It seems that most of my life, I've never been able to line those two things up very well, if at all.

What does God have for us? How much of this is his problem and how much of it is mine? What am I missing here and how am I to proceed? Is it true that "where God guides, he provides" or not? Is the question one of provision or of guidance? Are we out of his will (whatever that means?), or just not doing it correctly? What is he asking us to do? How are we to respond?"
From the sound of things, he's more confused than depressed (though it's never a long trip between the two). I think he knows they'll come out of this and look back on it with good stories one day, but it's always more difficult to make sense of things in the midst of trial than on the backside of it. And where they are is in the midst of it.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

In Dire Need of Fall Break

In roughly 24 hours, Learner will be on fall break - namely no classes on Thursday and Friday, with Saturday and Sunday off as well. And, he says, it won't be too soon.

While it's not like the professors withhold assignments or promise no quizzes the following week, two days with no classes (even if he only has one each on those two days, both at 8 a.m.) is a good thing. The grind of attending class, trying to pay attention, and actually learn something can take more of a toll than he sometimes realizes. Learner says it will be nice to have four straight days out of a classroom.

The break gives Learner and his family a chance to get away, which they are planning to do with a five-hour trip to a new city they've not visited before. Their plan is to stay at a beautiful house that belongs to friends who (unfortunately) are going to be out of town for the weekend. Learner is planning to read during the drivetime, in hopes of being able to really relax when they arrive at their destination. Like Mrs. Learner (who is almost giddy with excitement about getting away), he is very much looking forward to the time...and counting the hours until they depart.

Learner asked if I wanted to accompany the family, but I declined. Sometimes I wonder if Mrs. Learner is a bit weary of me, as I always seem to be wherever Learner is. In an effort to be sensitive to that, I thanked him for the invitation, told him to have a good time, and assured him that I'd just be with him in spirit.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Midterm Time

In case you haven't figured out by my lack of posts of late reporting on Learner's seminary experiences, it's midterm time. When I last asked him for an update, he assured me there's plenty of good material coming, but it would have to wait due to a few select projects and exams, as well as a stack of papers from others to grade. His semester isn't particularly overwhelming this fall (3 classes, 10 hours), but he has a few other irons in the fire that seem to have complicated things a bit (more on those later).

In the meantime, I can happily report that in Learner's rematch with Hebrew, he got the better of his opponent, scoring an 88 on the midterm. Twenty-eight points improvement from the summer did his heart good, and he's enjoying the language (and working at it as well) much more than he did in the summer. He knows it's going to get harder and more complex as he goes, but at least he's got an anchor point of a respectable score to work from now.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Rematch

Today at 12:30, Learner faces his nemesis from the summer: the Hebrew mid-term. He tried to transliterate what payback was, but while sharper than its ever been, his vocab is still limited.